The last few months have been petty rough fibro wise for me. Fatigue, pain, isomnia, pain somnia, headaches, migraines, weight gain, muscle spasms. I think I have been through the full gammet of everything fibro has to offer.
This led to a trip to accident & emergency last night due to the nerves in my tail bone feeling like they had been directly wired to the national grid. Pain shooting, burning, clawing its way in both directions above my asse cheeks, in both hips & through my right side groin, into my thigh bone & abruptly ending at the tender spot on the inside of my knee.
After taking every form of pain relief I had & a tiny bit more I knew this would not be easy to tame. Unable to lay flat on my back as this is excrutiating yet at the same time having to raise my right leg, comfort felt like it wouldn't be mine no matter what I did.
The ambulance crew collected me from home adminstering gas & air as they could see just how much pain I was in, even though I'd taken so much medication already.
On arrival a A&E I was quickly assessed & given Oramorph, now combined with the gas & air also my meds I got some relief, but not so much that I could walk or even stand for that mtter. But enough that if I sat at the edge of the bed leaning forwards & a pillow between my legs to lean on I was comfortable.
The doctor at A&E made it perfectly clear she wanted me to go home (by saying "ud be better off at home & more cmfortable as we don't have ANY free beds") & at this point I thought ok maybe I'l be able to do this, as the pain seemed to be manageable. I instructed my daughter who'd come in the ambulance with me to phone her dad & let him know he could cllect us.
The drive at that time would be about half an hour for him, 10mins later the pain came back with a bang again I was given Oramorph, my husband arrived just as I was given the dose. I checked out with the doctor was she sure I should go home as the Oramorph had only lasted 2hrs - she re-enforced No Beds where available, also that there was nothing else they could do for me.
I asked could I take the gas & air with me & was told no ! Within 5mins of getting in the car I realised the Oramorph had only been as sucessful as I'd assumed because it had been combined with a constant inhalation of gas & air which I no longer had (the doctor had assured me I could phone my own doctor 1st thing in the morning & arrange some decent pain relief maybe even the morphine patch) .
The pain now amplified I clung to hope of my doctor giving me meds early this morning. I got home & tried to lay on my bed but the pain was just to much to bear. Knowing my husband had to be up early to get our youngest ready for school I came downstairs to try and get comfortable.
With 3 cushions behind my back & further 3 under my knee's I managed 90mins fractured sleep (fractured because the smallest movement caused pain, waking me) I awoke finally at 7am no longer able to ignore the pain as where I'd stayed so still for so long my whole body was aching, throbbing, hurting & stiff.
I wanted to cry as I knew my dctors only opened at 08.30 - I watched the minutes & seconds crawl by until 08.25 when I dcided I'd try to phone, I wanted to be one of the frst with an appointment for a call back.
On the first ring I got the "sorry the surgery is now closed blah blah blah" I hung up & hit redial, this time hearing that I was through to the surgery & I was number 2 in the que. I explained to the receptionist about what had hppened & was told doctor will call you back in the next hour".
I waited & waited then waited some more, now sweating & feeling hot as my body fought with the pain & utterly exhausted due to only having 3hrs sleep in 48hrs I rang the surgery to find out why doctor hadn't called & this is what I was told "there are another 5people in front of you yet" !
Not even thinking to question it I accepted her answer & was still waiting it was now 12noon. Anger & despair have registered with me though, why was I bumped down the list of priority & by who ?
I'm unable to move, sat like astatue in fucking agony waiting to be phoned and there is NOTHING I can do about it - sweat pouring off me, stiff, sore in tears & thinking is this really a way of being, surely its not so hard to swallow abunch of pills & just be done with life ?
The thing is though if I DID they would view me as an emergency - but would never accept that I only reached that point because someone decided I wasn't a priority at 08.25 when I was only 2nd in the que.
So who made that descision that my case wasn't important enough & bumped me down the list cus to be fair I want to smash their face in.
Its no wonder so many chronic pain patients suffer with depression, feel suicidal, or commit suicide, yet another case of a fibro patient being pushed to the back of the que, mistreated, under treated & left to suffer !
I found out when the doctor did call that she hadn't been told that I was needing pain relief, sobbing I explained everything to her. She immediately agreed to giving me Oramorph & said my husband could go for a prescription for me.
So I'd gotten an answer the receptionist had decided my case wasn't an emergency. I am left with one question then "what qualifications does she have to mke that descision ?" !