Thursday 25 October 2012


Hey guys, long time no post. Sorry for not posting, last I was here my grandma was really sick. She died Monday October 15th. I felt like a zombie all through the wake and funeral. I was just going through the motions of living, not actually there. Even after. On Sunday I had a three hour long panic attack which was hell. You would think that a death would bring the family together, but it's torn us all apart. My aunt's true colors have shown (a phony bitch) and my uncle just isn't speaking to anyone. Mom and I have started doing dinner with my grandpa once a week. He puts on a good front but he's in shock. They were married for 53 and together for a total of 60. He's never been apart from her so he's lost. I think my mom is doing the worst though. She was the closest to her. She sobs every day and I feel just so helpless that I can't do anything to make her feel better. I know it's healthy and all part of the grieving process but I wish I could make it easier for her. On the upside, we both conquered our fear of public speaking! I did two of the bible readings at the funeral and mom did the Florence Nightengale tribute seeing gram was a nurse. Everyone said how well we did which was shocking. In middle school if I had to talk in front of the class my face would go red and I would cry. So I've been extremely flared from stress and then today, SURPRISE! Sinus infection. I can't catch a freaking break!!! One thing I'm very happy about though is that my dad has really stepped up though all of this. He's never really been a father but he takes me out for lunch or dinner and back to his house to watch funny videos to cheer me up and keep my mind off of it. It's a really nice surprise.
That's all for now~
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Rest in peace Janet E. Hanrahan July 3, 1938 - October 15, 2012

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