Sunday 30 December 2012

Me, Exercise, Dercums Disease & Fibromyalgia.


it's nearly a year now since my dreaded new normal occurred.  I found out it's my Dercums that is getting worse the pain is now spreading to bigger areas.

My fibromyalgia causes pain in muscles & ligaments. My Dercums causes pain in my fat layer that lives under my skin & also causes thickening of the skin. The two diseases are nearly identical for symptoms.

One year ago I became to ill to get off my bed for 5months. I have spent the last 7 slowly rebuilding my strength & learning what I can do again. I have gained 24lbs during this process as before I got really poorly I was managing most weeks to make the gym 3 Times weekly for an hour n a half session of strength training & fat burning.

All nice, slow, manageable, low impact exercise that toned my muscles & took my weight to it's lowest since before childbirth.  The regular release of endorphins & liking my reflection helped with the depression being a spoonie can bring.

I also got better mobility, range, motion, posture as my muscles strengthened & my weight decreased. I noticed that less weight meant less pain in hips, knees, ankles & feet.  I found that my digestive system worked better, that my ibs had halved in intensity. I no longer suffered with a bloated, distended stomach to the point laying in bed with oversized pjs on was the only comfortable option.

I suffered with less muscle spasms meaning I got a deeper quality of sleep as instead of having painful spasms when in a rested state I barely flinched. My breathing improved dramatically when I weighed less & moving around was a lot more effortless and very energy efficient. I find when I'm overweight I get out of breath easily & any energy I can muster is halved during movement.

I've been feeling really down about my weight gain as my pain levels have been going through the roof. My hips & knees are starting to grumble about carrying excess weight again. I'm not sleeping as well as I was & after seeing what I could achieve physically, no longer like what I see looking back.

I'm still unable to use the gym, just getting dressed to go there kills me. I can't just chuck a tracksuit on & walk out the door. I need a bath every morning due to the amount I sweat at night. So gym for me involves bath, dressed, gym, first half of exercises, whole dry gym outfit, second half of exercises.  Then home, collapse for 2hrs, bath again, pyjamas.

I can't hack that routine now but feel well enough to do some form of exercise so had a good think about what I can make work for me & the best thing I ever exercised on was a rowing machine. 

Lots of different resistances & levels to fit in with My spoonieness, also its a great all over body toner & fat burning workout. My lightbulb lit if I can't go to the gym I'm bring a part of it to me. I have ordered a rowing machine with a great seat for comfort also that can be easily stored.

Once it arrives I am going to do a weigh in with measurements & photos then update on my progress once a week. It's hard to exercise at a gym I am realising why others don't. Unfortunately being a spoonie means we expend such little energy that we' d have to practically starve to lose any weight which is why many of us gain weight so rapidly.

At least having a rowing machine at home means it won't matter if I'm all sweaty with panda eyes wearing only my pants & a t- shirt Il be able to exercise. It won't matter if my hair is brushed, the only thing that will matter is that unless I'm bedridden completely I WILL BE ABLE TO EXERCISE whenever I feel able and I've felt able for a while but only if I didn't have to put any energy into a trip to the gym.

Wish me luck & here goes the beginning of yet another journey of learning what I can & cannot do with the limitations & boundaries of my new normal.

xxx Georgie

Thursday 6 December 2012

Most Hated Class In Society

If I ever imagined id not b able to #SelfSupport I wouldnt of had my wonderful children as id want a different life for them than my own raised in the last recession.

You see when I had my children I was working fulltime & continued part time for the 1st year of their lives b4 going fulltime again.

I was living with & plannin on marrying their dad until i found out he was having an affair so I left.

I became a single mom on benefits with 2 children aged 1 & 2.  I got no financial support from their dad at all.

3 years later I meet my now husband. We where both working and had just moved into our own house (council not private).

We decided to have a baby together and I worked right up until the birth. Although I had to go part time in my 2nd trimester due to how poorly id started to feel.

Our son was born on 3rd January 2001 8 weeks early by emergency csection leaving me traumatised and as we would soon learn disabled.

Now unable to work even part time hours due to the crippling & progressive nature of my disabilities I find myself with a majority being called scrounging scum.

Scum that David Cameron & his cronies feel are lowering Britains standards.  Scum that should be humiliated & villified for claiming the hard earned tax of those that work & contribute to society.

It wasnt my fault my 1st partner couldnt keep it in his pants.  Its not my fault my son was born prematurley leading to the surgery that would disable me.

I am a qualified professional, I didnt spend 4yrs training & working my asse off to sit at home sponging off the nation.

Its not my husbands fault that he has a disabled wife which means he has become my fulltime carer (he is a qualified cabinet maker).

Yet here I am claiming benefits for me the hubby and 3 children & living in a council house. Not the future id had planned out in my head for sure.

I and many, many others are in the same situation yet have done nothing wrong. We are cruelly ripped to bits by government and mislabelled as work shy scroungers when in fact that is far from the truth.

Am I ashamed im on benefits? No im not because iv done nothing wrong. All my children where born into 2 parent, fulltime working homes. Iv never been workshy.

When I first became single I missed work awfully I found I was bored which eventually caused depression. I HATED not having enough money to buy what I wanted when I wanted it.

As soon as I was settled into a new relationship the first thing I did was go back to work. I loved the independence the money the freedom of buying nice things without wondering what id have to go without.

With my now hubby we where both working, and had settled into a new home. We had security so chose to have a baby.  I planned on doing what id done with my youngest two again. Work part time till they turned 1.

But as iv explained the birth of this baby that we could afford to have led to the disabling disability that has caused my life to grind to a halt.

So ashamed no im not, sad yes because I had plans dreams goals ideas for my life and what I wanted from it.

Yet because life and its shit happened to me all beyond my control I am one of the most hated class in society!